I Have Found My Motivation

Confession: I'm afraid of epiphanies. It's not that I fear they're not genuine, per se, but rather because I'm afraid I'll lose that feeling, and with it the motivation will be gone. Then due to my own negligence, I'll lose out on the great thing I could have had.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

I had an epiphany today. I was in the town of Greenport, New York, and I decided that was where I wanted to live my life.

That's a big declaration, and it's not directly associated with writing, so let me give some background. I've been kind of tossed around on the seas of moving over the last ten years. After finishing up at Mississippi State in Starkville, Mississippi, I moved to Washington, DC for nearly seven years. I moved back to Memphis after that, but for a while I thought that DC was where I wanted to live. But at some point, I realized that was because of the people I had left there, and who were no longer there. But Memphis held no attraction for me either, so when I was offered a transfer with my job, I took it, and wound up on Long Island. And here I am.

I like Long Island, but again, I feel no particular connection to it. But somehow, Greenport was different. It felt right, but there was more than that. I can see myself living there. I can imagine a sense of satisfaction from being there. In essence, I can see myself being happy living there.

But of course, I would need a job. And that's where writing comes in. Greenport would be perfect for me if I were a full time writer. And therein lies the further development of my Plan.

I'll work backwards. To live in Greenport as a writer, I need to be a full time writer. To do that, I'll have to quit my current job, and to do that, I'll have to have a sufficient source of income both to make the move and live when I get there.

To do that, I'll probably need to sell one novel and have some good contracts for others. And to do that, I need to establish myself as a writer... oh, and actually finish the novel(s).

For that, I need more practice at my writing and some publications. So that means I need to write stories and submit them. Which brings me to where I am write now.

I wrote a few days ago that I was in a period of the doldrums... well, I think the last few days have brought fresh wind to my sails. I have a reason to write now that goes beyond just liking it. Each finished story, each submission, each is a step on my road to achieving that dream. And that's a major thing. I'm working towards a lifestyle that I want very much to have. And I can achieve it.