Results, but no progress

Confession: I have the ability to be bored, looking for something to do, and totally ignore chores at the same time.

Reading:

• "L. DeBard and Aliette: A Love Story," by Lauren Groff
  
• The House of Mirth, by Edith Wharton
  

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Hitches a Ride" - 1,245 words (Estimated completion 14%)
• "Ferian Fetlock Catches a Cold" - Outline 100%
  

Revising:

• "The Revenant"
• "Cora and the Sea" - Third draft 50%

First off, good news! A little more than a month ago, I wrote a story entitled "Hattie Donnelly's New Doll" for the Writers Weekly 24 Hour Short Story Contest. The results came out today, and I once again won Honorable Mention. Out of the eight times I have entered the contest, I have maintained a 50/50 win/loss ratio, assuming that honorable mention is a win.

I do have to count it as a rejection in one sense, however. My tally below of submissions and rejections is designed to count publication, and only the top three places in this contest get that honor. So I've bumped my rejection counter up by one. Perhaps I should put an asterisk next to it.

Funny... I went to Greenport yesterday. The last time I did that, I came home to find that "Dolly Hobbles" had been accepted. That place really is my lucky charm.

Sadly, I didn't do anything else constructive today. I think that I succeed most with my writing under just enough adversity to put time pressure on me, but not enough so that I have no time at all to write. This is something I will have to address if I ever quit my job to have a full time writing career. In such a situation, I couldn't afford to slack off.

That's still far, far in the future, however. For now, I just need to get up tomorrow morning and do my thing like always. Maybe get another 500 words of Ferian finished. After all, if I can get the next Ferian chapter done, plus the next 24 hour contest at the end of this month, I'll be back on track for my one-story-a-month pledge.

Publication Status:

• Submitted: 5
  
• Accepted: 1
• Rejected: 2
• Pending: 2
  

Dairhenien's Library, Part 1

Confession: I got bored last night and just went to bed. Am I that old?

Reading:

• "Balto" by T.C. Boyle
  
• The House of Mirth, by Edith Wharton
  

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Catches a Cold"
  

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

Future Projects:

• Dairhenien's Library - Development
  
• Floorcraft - First rewrite of 1-5, first draft of 6-8
• Ferian Fetlock - "Ferian Fetlock Takes a Wife."
  
• "Motley" - Expansion
• "Fireworks and Earthworks" - 5% into first draft
  
• Untitled School Mistress Story

Unpublished Stories/Status (in chronological order of completion of first draft)

• "Pictures of the Old Port" - 5th Draft, Unsubmitted
• "What Price Stamps" - 3rd Draft, Submitted to The American Drivel Review, July 30th, 2008
  
• "The Frost Fugling" - 2nd Draft, Unsubmitted
• "Black Pudding" - 2nd Draft, Unsubmitted
• "Cora and the Sea" - 3rd Draft, Unsubmitted
• "Motley" - 2nd Draft, Unsubmitted
• "Leaves and Sunsets" - 2nd Draft, Unsubmitted
• "A Happy Ending" - 1st Draft, Unsubmitted
• "The Revenant" - 2nd Draft, Unsubmitted
  
• "Illuminated" - 3rd Draft, Unsubmitted
  
• "A Cup of Coffee" / "Morning Tea" - 2nd Draft, Submitted to Tea: A Magazine, July 29th, 2008
• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse" - 2nd Draft, Unsubmitted
• "Hattie Donnelly's Favorite Doll" - 2nd Draft, Submitted to 24 Hour Short Story Contest, July 27th, 2008
  

I'm nearly done with the "Cora and the Sea" revisions. If things go as planned, I should be able to whip that out tonight, or even at lunch today, work permitting. I think next, I'm going to work on "The Revenant." It's a good, solid, longer story, and should need cosmetic cleanup more than any substantial additions.

I've kept Cora pretty short so far, unlike my revision to "Dolly Hobbles." I like it as a short short, I think. There's a lot more I could go into, her relationship with Malcolm and Silas, for example. Of course, in the back of my mind during this whole revision is the time limit at my reading on August 11th, and any big additions wouldn't fit in the time allotted. Maybe I'll come back to it later.

It's interesting--one of the comments I continually get goes something like this. "You suck me into your world, but I want to see more. Why is it so short?" The short answer (heh) is that most of these stories were written with a word limit imposed. I can't get away with writing more than a scene or two, and I have to somehow cram an entire story into that short space. I think it's a good exercise, and one that makes me a much tighter and more effective writer. But it can be limiting when there is more potential in a story than the slice I've written. In some cases, I do plan to expand. "Motley" is an example of a story that I would like to expand considerably.

I got up extra early this morning, intending to take a Ramble, but got hooked in by last night's Daily Show and Colbert Report. I did come up with some good ideas for the next chapter of Ferian in the shower, though. If in the finished version there is a scene featuring Ferian, dressed only in a burlap sack, chasing a slimy brown creature through an inn in the middle of the night, you can attribute it to 4am on the morning of July 31st, 2008.

But now, onto my chosen subject for the day. Several people have asked me what this whole "Dairhenien" thing is about. It's listed as in development and that's totally true. It's an idea that's been in the back of my mind for years now.

In fact, I can trace the development of it pretty easily. Back when I was in middle school (yes, it's that long of a story), my mother was the Bookstore Lady. On registration day, the bookstore opened for all the parents to do one-stop shopping for school supplies, and I was always drafted to help stock the story and run the cash register.

Being the early bird she is, my mom got me there super early, and we had finished stocking way before registration day started. I managed to escape and go wandering through the deserted corridors of my school. This was in early August of 1990, just before I started 7th grade.

So as I was walking, I was thinking about how cool it would be if you could open up portals to different places. I'm not sure why, but the idea really took hold of me, and for the next six years or so, it stayed in the back of my mind. As I learned more science, the idea grew more complex. In particular, AP Physics did a lot. I learned about reference frames and the Einstein concept of simultaneity, and realized that for the concept to work, the portals would have to be static in a given reference frame, but could be moving in another reference frame. Oh, and if they could create a doorway in space, why not time?

The last idea was the basis for my next notion, which was the Library. It was a place outside of time, but connected to our world through portals. These portals would access time periods throughout history, and as a result, a select few could all meet in the Library for... well, for whatever. I was unclear on that. At this stage, the Library as a concept more than a plot.

But what would happen when the visitors/inhabitants of the Library aged and died? After all, just because the Library is outside of time doesn't mean that it doesn't have its own timeline. Eventually it would be empty, no? And that's when I decided that there had to be some sort of cyclicity to the Library. An individual would enter the Library for the first time, and travel back and forth to it from his or her own era over the course of a lifetime. Eventually, that person would die. And then, to the point of view of another of the Library's inhabitants, that person would return again, young again. But of course from that person's POV, it would be his or her first visit, all over again. And so it would continue.

But wouldn't that suck to develop a relationship with someone over a lifetime, and suddenly find that he or she has forgotten you completely? And that's when the concept really took shape. In instituted Guardians that would confer certain benefits upon those chosen to come to the Library. The greatest of these was memory. A snapshot of a person's mind would be taken at the end of his or her last visit to the Library. When he or she returned as a youth, those memories would be conferred. Effectively, it was immortality.

Of course, after centuries of this, the person he or she became is radically different from the person he or she was as a youth. There would be huge changes in personality, no? And so the conflict first appeared, and with conflict comes plot. Here are the questions I asked myself:

• What if a guy just got him memory snapshot taken, but then immediately afterwards he comes up with a very important idea. He has to leave the Library before he can communicate it to anyone else. Everyone just has to hope that when he returns, he'll come up with it again.
  
• What if something happened to delay that transference of memory, so that this guy learned about the Library and what would happen to him before it was done? Would he still want it? Not to mention, everyone is pressuring him into it because of that idea.
  

There had to be a mystery for the inhabitants of the Library to solve. I kept coming back to a brass plaque containing just two words: "Dairhenien's Library." Who was he? Did he make this place? What is it for?

I'm going to stop there, since that was the state of the story in my head throughout most of college. I also have to go to work. But later on, I'll go into how the story changed from there to its present incarnation.

Publication Status:

• Submitted: 5
  
• Accepted: 1
• Rejected: 1
• Pending: 3

A good writing day

Confession: I'm afraid something's going to happen to take this away.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint
• The Last Command, by Timothy Zahn

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

As you can see, I've taken "Ferian Fetlock" off the list. That's right, the first draft of "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse" is finished. It needs work, of course, but that's only to be expected.

The ending surprised me a little. Oh sure, I knew how I wanted to the story to end, and that's how it ended. The events that transpired are the same as I had planned. But I wasn't able to make that ending be an ending with closure. It was an ending with a hook for the next chapter. In other words, Ferian is refusing to shut up and be a short story. He wants to be a book.

As you can see, though, I didn't immediately put the next story, "Ferian Fetlock Catches a Cold," as my new writing project. Nor did I put up Dairhenien's Library, although that had been my original plan. You see, in two weeks I'm going to participate once more in the 24 Hour Short Story Contest, and I want to be in the right frame of mind for that.

My next major task is to actually start working on the "Cora and the Sea" revision, since my reading on August 11th is coming up fast. I don't know if that will take two whole weeks or not--hopefully not. So I need to decide on another project to fill in with in the mean time. Dairhenien might be a good bet, if nothing else to organize further the world building notes I've written. Or characters... yes, I should probably start working on characterization a bit more. I know many of the broad strokes, but none of the flavor.

Of course, any time I work on Dairhenien, there won't be an immediate payoff. I need to get "Illuminated" resubmitted, and perhaps another story too. Should I work on "The Revenant" some more? Do some more magazine research too?

It's doubly important to get more stories out because of the other thing that happened today: our girl "Dolly Hobbles" was accepted for publication by The Storyteller magazine. It is slated for the Jan/Feb/March 2009 issue of that publication.

As you can imagine, I'm thrilled. I immediately called my parents and a few others, and emailed everyone who has ever helped me in my writing. Now I'm going to have to put an Accepted counter down here too!

Publication Status:

• Accepted: 1
• Rejected: 1
  

A Choice, Briefly

Confession: I'm a slave to my own impatience.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

As you can see, I've finally finished my revisions on "Dolly" and submitted her for publication. I have high hopes, especially since I'm supposed to hear back from the magazine within two weeks. We'll see.

In the mean time, I find my thoughts turning back to Dairhenien's Library more and more. Should I work on the novels while the mood has me, or should I finish "Ferian Fetlock"? Which would do me more good?

Writer versus Author

Confession: I paid $13.25 to watch You Don't Mess with the Zohan this evening. I'm so ashamed.

Reading:

• The Van, by Roddy Doyle

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

I think I've finally realized why I've managed to keep this blog going for three weeks. You may laugh, but this is my 25th entry, and that's longer than I've ever managed to keep something like this going. That's right, none of the "Radioactive Duck"s lasted this long.

This blog is my way of reminding myself I'm a writer. I start every entry by forcing myself to say something clever or unexpected in my confession. They're true, every one of them, but that's part of what makes it interesting. (I believe it's the restrictions in writing that inspire creativity... but that's another post.)

Next, I list out my current projects. Part of my job as a writer is to read, and to think critically about what I read. There should never be a point at which there is not some sort of book on my plate. All too often, I get caught up in the minutiae of life and set a book aside. When I finally remember it again, I'm out of the flow, but don't feel like starting over. And so it is abandoned. But this way, I list every day the book I'm reading, and if I don't finish, I don't forget.

After that comes my actual writing projects. The same thing holds here: how can I set a story aside when I don't allow myself to take it off the list until I'm done with it? That's not to say I can only work on "Ferian" and "Dolly" right now, but they don't get off the list until I'm done with them. That's a constant reminder that at any moment, I can either write or revise. Or read.

There's one last part. Did you spot it? It's hiding in plain sight. That is the blog post itself. I'm afraid that one day I'll run out of topics, but is that possible? Not while there are books I haven't read, at least, because I can always comment on what I'm reading if I can't think of anything else. Just tackling a theme on the topic of writing forces me to think about that theme, and to develop in a ways that I might not otherwise pursue.

All of that comes down to this: I am forging my identity as a writer so that I can have a career as an author. To me, the difference comes down to one of professionalism. I don't make a living as a writer, so I am not yet an author. I hope to become one someday, even someday soon. But I must first think of myself as a writer primarily, not as my day job.

Plot versus Story

Confession: I have terrible fashion sense. If I ever get a book advance over $500,000, I'm going to dedicate 5% of that to hiring someone to help me revamp my entire wardrobe. Someone with taste.

Reading:

• The Van, by Roddy Doyle

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

I just finished The Snapper by Roddy Doyle this morning, during the time that (according to yesterday's schedule) I was supposed to be revising "Dolly Hobbles." For shame. Still, if I do that this afternoon, then I'll have tomorrow to dip into old Ferian pretty heavy. Maybe.

Reading The Snapper got me to thinking about what "story" is, at least in relation to plot. I say this because The Snapper is a story that I could not have written. And I'm not talking about the Irish slang, either; it's a story that, in some sense, could be written in any poor, urban area with strong ties of community and a penchant for gossip. The Barrytown setting gave it flavor, but not substance.

No, it's the way an entire novel was written about a pregnancy. The baby itself is born in the last page, and serves as a denouement to the story, not even a vital part. And the plot is simple. Sharon is pregnant, and she tells her parents, then her friends. They are all remarkably okay with it, although her father does have some issues later on, which they deal with. The identity of the father gets out and causes some problems, but thanks to a lie no one believes but everyone pretends to, it turns out pretty much okay.

I could never have made that interesting. Ever. Because the scenes dealing exclusively with the plot don't really make up the story.

The story is about the Rabbitte family. The story is about Sharon in relation to her community, the whole family in relation to the community. It's a journey for Sharon's father, Jimmy Sr., and to a lesser extent for her mother Veronica. But pretty much all of her siblings get a plot thread that carries through the whole story. All of these elements work together to make the story, and make Sharon's predicament matter. Because we know her siblings, her parents, her friends, we actually care about her. We laugh along with her ribald jokes when she's with her friends, and we tremble with her when her baby daddy tries to lure her to a life with him in London.

This is not a story about a pregnancy, even though it's a plot about a pregnancy. This is a story about character. Sharon has to overcome her concern for how she appears in the eyes of the neighborhood... and so does her father. They do this different ways, but they do so successfully, and the story thus becomes a triumphant one.

And this is remarkable, all the more so given the somewhat appalling conditions in which Sharon lives. We see her excessive drinking during the pregnancy, even up to the last week, and we have one more reason than Sharon does to worry that the child won't be born healthy. We see Jimmy's self-indulgent attempted manipulation of Sharon, to try to wrangle out an apology, yet we still somehow sympathize with him.

It's remarkable because we see all these things through the eyes of the participants, and we can see the love and affection the characters have for each other. We see this through the filter of the culture in which it is set, without judging them too harshly.

The final novel in the trilogy, The Van, focuses on Jimmy after he loses his job. (I'm only a page into the story, now, so I can only echo what I've been told about it.) But again, that's just the plot, and I can't wait to find out what the story is about.

Weekend Plans

Confession: I am addicted to Blistex Lip Medex. I have a little blue tub of it in every room of my apartment, in my car, and at work.

Reading:

• The Snapper, by Roddy Doyle

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

There's a lot of pressure for me on the weekends to get as much accomplished as I can. It's hard to do much writing during the week... in fact, keeping this blog has been the one thing that forces me to thing about writing on weekdays. But on the weekends, I have wide open swaths of time to write, and I should make the most of it.

So here's my plan for tomorrow.

• Get up
• Shower
• Get my ass over to the Panera for breakfast, coffee, and a little revisin'

You see, all week people have been helping me to revise "Dolly Hobbles." It's not a bad story, but it betrays its origins--i.e., written in an afternoon in six hours and not touched since. Well, this is when I touch it again and turn it into something worthy of submitting elsewhere.

• Drink me some coffees.
• Get a sore ass from wooden chairs, go home.
• Maybe watch a bit of the teevee.
• Lunch! Pizza from Tony's, and read some more on The Snapper. Girl's gonna have that baby pretty soon.
• Come home again, pack up the stuffs.
• Off to the B&N for an afternoon with Ferian Fetlock.

I've got the beginning of this story and the end of it so far. There's a big chunk of middle that I skipped, and that is totally not like me to do. I think it's because I don't have a good concept of this story yet. Knowing me, that means I need to

• Take a walk

It's the best way for me to think. I can't seem to do it sitting still for some reason, and the weather is supposed to be good tomorrow.

It's a distinct possibility that tomorrow, I might complete one story and revamp another. Kind of exciting.

The Balancing Act of Critique

Confession: I have a dream that one day, I'll have enough money to purchase a nice, big apartment over one of the restaurants or shops in downtown Sayville, or another similar Long Island town. I would have several internet connections, sofas and comfy chairs, desks, writing supplies, and no televisions. It would be a writers' retreat, and I could give keys to students or other young writers who are looking for a place to go and meet other young writers, free of distractions. It's the sort of place I'd love to find now.

Reading:

• The Snapper, by Roddy Doyle

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

A few days ago, I sent out a huge call for critiques on "Dolly Hobbles." I advertised on a message board I frequent, as well as on Facebook, and got about two dozen responses.

Many of the critiques are just one or two words, directly addressing the questions I asked. It's a good thing I asked them, or I might have gotten a response like "it's good" or "I liked it," or my personal favorite--"I had to read it a couple of times." (Never sure if that's a good thing or not.)

Other critiques go into detail on word choice and grammar (that's a lie, my grammar was fine), and write long paragraphs for each of my questions. I get the fact that these are the people who didn't have time to finish the second essay on their AP English exam).

Both types of critiques are useful. The short ones cut to the heart of the matter, and the long ones expand on it. My confidence is (currently) high enough so that even the negative criticisms don't wound.

Overheard in the restaurant just now: a girl in her twenties wearing a green hoodie. "Look how fun it looks!" she says, showing her Panera salad to her dining companion. "How fun! Look at all the colors!"

But that brings to mind the difficulty in giving a good critique. As anyone who has been on the receiving end of one of my critiques will know, I tend to be detail oriented... sometimes at the exclusion of the big picture. Let's just say that detail is my default, and only when I am asked do I step back and take in the whole forest.

But there is a fine line between a detailed critique and a list of nitpicks. The way I attempt to avoid this pitfall is to give justification for each comment or edit, as well as bestowing praise on those elements I like.

Because you know, it's hard to read through a critique of your work. When I'm by myself, I look at a piece and I see the glaring, obvious flaws. But let someone else lay a finger on it, and I have to restrain myself from jumping to its defense. I'm like the big brother who loves to pick on his little sister, but death to the schoolkid that tries to do the same.

But of course, we all like compliments on our work. They help soothe the itches of the criticism. And suddenly, critique becomes a balanced breakfast. There's the stuff that's good for you, and the stuff that tastes good, and it's the most important meal of the day. (Not sure where that fits into the metaphor.)

Some authors might not need the frosted side of the Mini Wheats to choke down critique. I've sat down a swallowed my share of negative comments, and once I manage to get ego out of the way, I've seen how they improved the story. (Helped build strong bones?) And other times, I have to put them away, shut the criticism away until I'm strong enough to face it.

There are few things that are so uniquely personal as writing. And until a piece is published, it has an air of impermanence, as if every single word has yet to be pinned down and formalized. The possibilities of change are infinite, and it never, never, never lives up to what it could be. Somewhere out there in the ether is the perfect word choice for every single line, and only one monkey sitting at one typewriter will ever see it.

When I look back at the writing attempts of my youth, I can barely read from embarrassment. Other people don't understand why I'm shy about showing the stories I wrote when I was ten, but they don't understand. I don't see the story of a ten-year-old writing at a high school level. I see failure, the attempt to create the perfect story that fell short because it just wasn't in me.

Yes, I know it's impossible to create the perfect story, that it's not in me, but I still can't help but feel that an imperfect story is a glimpse into my imperfect soul, and it makes me feel naked and vulnerable in the way that physical nudity never could.

And to have that imperfect work criticized... well, isn't that just a criticism of my imperfect soul? And don't I feel the need to justify at the same time that I know those criticisms are entirely correct, even mild in comparison to the truth?

But damn, dude (I say to myself), chill. Yes, a story is a glimpse into my soul, but only into a fraction of it, and to render imperfect what I feel is not the same as being faulty or worthless. After all, it's just a story.

Research Time

Confession: I have the tendency to hide my failures and expose my successes. And then I have the nerve to wonder why people act like I succeed effortlessly. I can't have it both ways.

Reading:

• Master of the Cauldron, by David Drake
• 2008 Novel & Short Story Writer's Market, Lauren Mosko, Editor

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

"Ferian Fetlock" is a comedy. Since the news yesterday of my grandmother's passing, I haven't been in what you might call the right frame of mind to do humorous writing, so after a nice long thoughtful blog yesterday, I'm going to regroup by doing some research today. I have purchased a bright shiny new copy of a book I should probably have just checked out from the library (if I didn't already have four items past due).

For someone who loves books as much as I do, I hate checking them out from libraries. The problem is that they make me give them back.

Today, I get the chance to put my metaphorical money where my metaphorical mouth is. I claimed on my previous post that I would accept comically low pay and copies in returns for publication. Well, my wish might be granted. This year's guide has a nice little section of small circulation publications that offer just that. Although not as well recognized or lucrative, they offer a better chance for new writers to get published, and build up that all important resume before aiming for the big leagues.

I have no problem with starting small, so that's what I'm going to work on today. I'm going to compile a list of magazines, along with their submission requirements (or where to get them). And as I get stories ready for submission, I'll pick the best and get it out to them.

You've got to understand that I think of this as work, as opposed to writing, which is fun. (Revision is about halfway in-between.) But it furthers the writing, and what better activity to engage in when my mind is not in a writing kind of place?

Before I start on that, though, a note on "Dolly Hobbles." It was written for that same 24 Hour Short Story Contest that I've mentioned several times in the past. It won honorable mention, a fact of which I was quite proud. But this is the first time that I've tried to revise one of those stories out of its churned-out-in-an-afternoon roots. The length of time that it takes to write a story means nothing outside of the context of the contest, and if it's a story worth salvaging, it deserves a long-term polish.

The trick is that the structure of the story was determined by a word count that also no longer applies. So this will be good practice at a different kind of revision--starting at the structural level and rewriting perhaps the entire story to fit that new structure. I get the feeling that when I finally make a serious attempt at a novel, that will be a skill that becomes very, very important.