Jhegaala

Confession: An ex-girlfriend started me reading Steven Brust. It's one of the few good things I carried away from that relationship.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint
• Jhegaala, by Steven Brust

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

There are a few authors for whom I am willing to drop everything to read their new book. Steven Brust is one of them. I adore his Dragaeran novels, both the Khaavren Romances and the Vlad Taltos series.

I've been reading this series for almost ten years now, long enough for elements of it to work their way into my knowledge base. The idea that Elves would consider themselves human, and humans to be something other and lesser, for example. The concept of a fantasy book reading like The Three Musketeers, complete with inflated and overblown prose. I even know the correct way to pronounce Taltos, and for a non-Hungarian, that's pretty damn good.

My favorite part about Vlad's stories are the way he navigates through a world of mystery, magic, and enchantment without reacting like your stereotypical fantasy hero. He's not interested in learning the secrets of the universe. He wants to save his own skin, drink, do well with the ladies, enjoy the love and respect of his grandfather, get married. Oh yeah, and run a crime syndicate, and keep from being killed.

The point is, he's a real person with a real life, and he isn't motivated by some obscure "quest." I would love to be able to write real people like that.

And now, I'm back to reading.

Rejection Counter: 1

Coincidence?

Confession: I think too much. I over analyze. I don't know how to stop.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

First of all, you may notice that I've finished yet another Star Wars book. They're remarkably quick to read. Nothing really deep, just all candy and fluff. So yeah, it's junk food literature, but there's nothing wrong with a little of that now and then.

In reading them, though, I noticed the operation of coincidence over and over. The main characters split up to pursue their own separate plotlines. Through unrelated events, they all reconvene. How the hell does that work?

I mean, in The Empire Strikes Back, we saw the heroes split into two groups. But their reunification was realistic, at least insofar as you accept the deus ex machina of the Force. But in Zahn's books, we have no such tidy explanation. Plot threads are woven into a tapestry. That's true with any story, but in the case of these books, you can see the goddamn weaver!

I like to feel that the past is tied down, but the thread of the future is unbound, whipping out before me, and only set into place when I reach it. But that's how real life feels to me, too. I don't believe in fate, per se.

That may be a bit disingenuous. I do believe in God, and that it is possible to be led in the "right" direction (whatever your definition of "right" is), but I also feel that it is entirely my choice whether I follow that path or not. If the future is predestined, then what point is there in trying?

When writing, I want my characters to feel the same. And through them, I want the reader to know that anything can happen, good or bad. Let the tapestry of the story emerge from what the characters do to it. Let them be their own weavers.

Rejection Counter: 1

Status Updates

Confession: Ordering sushi makes me feel classy.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint
• Dark Force Rising, by Timothy Zahn

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

I think my momentum with "Ferian" is picking up. I got a goodly bit done this morning, and I expect to accomplish just as much tomorrow. Progress is good.

Once "Ferian" is in draft form, I'm going to switch over to "Cora" and do what I've been promising for weeks--revise it.

I've already mentioned that I want do some Dairhenien next, but that it's going to be more developing than writing. So I should probably add a new "Writing" status up at the top as well. The question is, new story or finishing an old one? I don't want to do more Floorcraft until I've revised the old stories.

I just realized something. "Ferian." "Cora." Dairhenien. "Simon's Story" (from Floorcraft). Everything I've written lately has featured a character's name in the title. The main character. The POV character. Interesting.

Also, I've got one more new status to add to my posts, this time at the bottom:

Rejection Counter: 1

50th Post Extravaganza

Confession: Yeah, I didn't do any writing this morning. Or exercising.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint
• Dark Force Rising, by Timothy Zahn

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

This is my fiftieth blog post. And you know what? It's working.

Never before have I thought about writing for such a long period together. I've always reached the low point in the sine wave, and abandoned it until I hit the next upswing. That's not to say that I've accomplished a lot over the last few weeks, but at the same time, I haven't been entirely unproductive, either.

I feel like I need to learn more about the craft of devising plots, and to do that, I want to go in-depth into a book with a very intricate plot. Maybe intricate symbolism as well, something that I can really sink my teeth into.

I have a couple of possibilities. The first is Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. Another is Harry Potter. Both are books for which it is clear that a plan existed from the very beginning, and it was carried through to the end. I think I like the writing style of Strange a little better, although the plot in Harry Potter is more intricate, the characters more varied in a way. Of course, there's nothing to say I can't do both, eventually.

So here's the plan. Instead of blogging about Strange, I'm going to do a wiki of it. It will start with a chapter by chapter analysis, but that will also begin to include information on the characters and personalities of the characters. I want to see how and why I build up a certain image of them in my mind, and how that arcs through the story. There's no better way to do that than a wiki.

Of course, it's a big project. I'll have to work on it gradually, and set a schedule so I keep working on it. But that is a task for another day.

New Schedule

Confession: I'm not sure whether I'm a morning person or a night person. I think I'm motivated more by inertia--when I'm in bed, I want to stay there; when I'm awake, I want to stay there too.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint
• Heir to the Empire, by Timothy Zahn

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising

• "Cora and the Sea"

It's been about six weeks now since I've started trying to get serious about writing. I've learned a lot in that time about what it takes to motivate me. I've also run into difficulty with another project, which is exercising and getting into better shape. To be perfectly frank, I haven't made any progress at all in the latter.

What I need is to do is develop a plan, and here it is:

• 5:00am - Wakeup
• 5:15am - Leave the house on my bike; pedal around for a while
• 5:45am - Return home; shower
• 6:00am - Breakfast
• 6:30am - Leave the house, go to Panera and write
  
• 8:00am - Leave Panera, go to work

That leaves my evenings free for whatever, and accomplishes both of my goals, exercise and writing. I'll want to devise an indoor exercise plan at some point, for rainy days (like tomorrow, honestly), but that can wait until I have the habit firmly established.

Meanwhile, I've taken a break from Someplace to be Flying to read the Thrawn Trilogy by Timothy Zahn. I read the first volume back in the early 90s, but never read the following volumes. I visited the Strand yesterday and found the whole series in hardcover for cheap, and treated myself.

It's good, better than I remember. I've come to think of most in-universe licensed fiction as little more than fan fiction, but Heir to the Empire has been a good read in its own right.

My first rejection

Confession: I don't deal well with rejection.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Listening:

• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J. K. Rowling

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

So I got a rejection today from Realms of Fantasy. It's my first rejection. I'm perversely proud of it, yet also disheartened. I know it takes a while to get a positive response, but at the same time, you always hope that lightning will strike right away.

The rejection was a blue slip of paper, not even a letter. They didn't even bother to fill in the name of the story in the blank left for it on the form. That was just a little insulting.

But on the bright side, I now have yet another story ready to be sent off to another magazine. I want to do that this weekend so that it doesn't just sit in a drawer feeling sorry for itself. (Yes, I'm personifying my story. So what? I'm a writer. Call it artistic license.)

World Building and Plot

Confession: I'm always the first to show up at parties.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Listening:

• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

As soon as I finish "Ferian Fetlock," I'm going to go back to Dairhenien's Library for a while. The status at the top of my posts won't say "Writing," since I won't be writing. It will say "Developing." I'm still in the world building and plotting phase.

I go back and forth between these two activities when working on this novel/series. The world building is the fantasy equivalent of research, and it is both easier and more difficult in its way. Whenever I want to figure out what the culture of given place is like, I make it up. What could be simpler? But the tough part is making sure that the details I create are internally consistent with the world I've created... and I have to be certain that any unusual details can be communicated through the story without needless exposition. If a world concept distracts from the story, it has to go. All must serve the story.

When I get tired of world building, I work on plot. I have a general arc for the series, and pretty decent idea of the first book, but there's no depth. I usually work on plot until I get stuck, then do some world building to move forward until I get bored, then go back to plot.

By the way, you can see from the status header of my post that I'm now listening to the audiobook version of Harry Potter book 7. Honestly, I listened through book 6 just recently too, but didn't think to mention it. I'll make sure that status is included from now on, since listening to an audiobook is as legitimate a way of experiencing a story as reading.

As long as they're unabridged.

Reading Aloud

Confession: The faults I hate most in others are the ones I see in myself.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

I've fallen in love with audiobooks over the last eight years. It all started when I found myself driving for six hours a week, and the radio began to wear on me. I had only a portable tape player, but it was enough to get my started.

Now, more recently, I've discovered the joys of the iPod and the free audiobook rentals at the local library. It didn't take long to put two and two together.

I love hearing stories read aloud. That's something I enjoyed as a child. It's almost as if prose on a page is like clothes on a hangar. Reading the words silently is like visualizing those clothes on a person, but hearing a story read aloud is like seeing those clothes being modeled.

On the one hand, the model could be good or bad, and the clothes could suffer. On the other hand, halfway decent clothes can be made to look incredible.

I guess the trick is to write so that the vocal interpretation is kind of "built in" to the words themselves, in rhythm and cadence, so the silent reader can hear them in his head, and the vocal reader can read at best advantage.

And Now for a Complete Change of Mood

Confession: I'm lonely.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

I just got through watching Hancock, and I must say, I was pleased. Good movie, and it got a good reaction from the audience.

But here's why I mention it on a writing blog: abrupt changes of mood. It started out as a comedy... oh, look at the drunk-ass superhero wrecking LA! He says funny things and does funny things while drunk! And saving people!

Then it got a little serious. Hancock has fucked up his life and he starts trying to fix it. It's not easy, but he makes progress. Inspirational! Uplifting!

And there's where I expected the movie to end. Clear character progression, asshole to hero, and there you go. But this movie went further.

At the risk of giving the plot away, Hancock loses his powers and kinda sorta but not really dies. The fight that lead up to it was brutal. The audience jumped with each blow, and I still have a headache from muscle tension. It was that visceral.

And the fight ended on a gag. I laughed, more out of relief and surprise than humor, but it weirded me out. It seemed a poor payoff for such a serious fight.

How should humor and drama be mixed? When two scenes are juxtaposed, should there be a cooling off period before humor is introduced again? How much effect does a chapter break have in resetting the internal appropriateness counter? I'm guessing it's not the same in everyone.

Ferian Won't Shut Up

Confession: I really have to pee right now, thanks to the way I go to restaurants and drink coffee and seltzer to justify my seat.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

Well, Ferian has taken on a life of his own. I think I understand his voice, now. I'm not saying that it's easy to write him now, but I'm doing it, and it's getting easier. But there has been an unintended consequence.

Now that he can talk, he has a lot to say. And a simple story about an unwise business decision has turned into quite an undertaking.

We've met the man. We've met his horse. I have the scene late in the story where the bad decision is made. I really truly thought that only one scene would go between these two.

Hah! There have been three so far, and will be at least one more to set up the ending properly. I can't promise I won't go back and augment them, too. Another thing is becoming equally apparent, and it's a little scary.

This story might stand on its own, but it's a much larger story by its nature. Maybe the original plan to write it as a series of short stories was prescient, but I'm looking at the first chapter of a novel. A novel I know I could write.

I'm just not sure I want to.

Wodehouse the Prolific

Confession: I know I'm not going to finish "Ferian" tonight. But I'm going to do a scene tomorrow, and keep at it until the draft is done.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

Ninety-seven books. How can anyone have written ninety-seven books? The idea of completing a single short story in a month is daunting, and this man wrote multiple novels per year, not to mention countless short stories, plays, and lyrics for musical? He managed to create almost singlehandedly the genre of the romantic comedy in musical theater while simultaneously developing characters that have been archetypes? Hell, they even named the website AskJeeves after his character of that name!

I am in awe of Wodehouse, and it's not just his prolific nature, but the overall quality of his work. Yes, his characters and plots are all alike, but that's not the joy of reading him. It's his use of this English language, the well-turned phrase, the juxtaposition of the serious with the comic, the high-flown with the slangy, that has never been successfully imitated. The man is a genius.

Twice since I moved to Long Island, I have visited his grave. It sits at the back corner of a well-tended cemetery on the more fashionable end of Long Island. Not flashy, not ostentatious, simply tasteful. The grave of a gentleman.

How can the man be so like and yet so unlike his characters? He was a marvel, and absolutely everyone should read him. Right now.

Advice from a Friend

Confession: I wasted most of today reading webcomics. I also make a chocolate cake, but I don't count that as wasted time.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

I spoke with a friend today who, I believe, gave me the advice I needed to finish "Ferian."

"What sort of education did he have?" he asked. "What was his relationship with his father?"

I was stymied. As I wrote two days ago, I have a decent idea of his character, but I know nothing of his background. It's no wonder I don't know where to take him if I don't know where he's from. My entire concept of his background was that he was a con artist, roaming the country with his wagon and his horse, living it up and scraping by. But as for how he got there, I have no clue.

So I'm going to answer those questions and start again. I'd better finish tomorrow, since that's my deadline. If not, I'll take a little bit of time this week, but by next weekend, I want to be working on Dairhenien's Library again, if only for a weekend.

Hard to Write Characters

Confession: This blog entry is pretty much all I accomplished today. And it's late, to boot.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

After staring at the screen for a while, I gave up on "Ferian" for today. Part of the reason is because I really have a hard time getting into that character's head. If he were a supporting character, no problem, but he is the central POV character, and if I can't understand his rationalizations and reasoning, then I have no chance of writing a convincing story.

His is a type of character I love to read. He's part Vlad Taltos from Steven Brust's incredible series, part Moist von Lipwig from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, and part Sawyer from Lost. Problem is, I have never really been able to relate to those characters. I enjoy reading them and I might even respect them, but I just don't understand them. The Con Artist is just so opposite my own personality that it might as well be a foreign culture.

But that's who Ferian is, at least in the way I've described him up to now. He's a showman and a rogue, and he leaves a trail of destruction behind him without really realizing it. He is self-centered and vain, and carries along everyone around him in his cult of personality. But that's okay, because he can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to get swept up with him.

See? I can describe it just fine, but I just have a hard time remembering his motivations as I write. My own personality is pulling the character away from his initial concept to something else. And the question is, should I go with that or not?

Meet Ferian Fetlock

Confession: A friend took me out to dinner tonight to celebrate a personal triumph. Her suggestion was a restaurant I don't really like, but I went anyway so as not to hurt her feelings. I wonder how often I force my own tastes on others in the name of friendship?

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

Tonight, I'm going to write a short passage from Ferian Fetlock's POV, just to get it straight before working on the story tomorrow.

Gaze into my eyes, these twin limpid pools of soul. See the reflection upon reflection of depths unimaginable, of possibilities unexplored. Witness wisdom wise enough to know it knows naught, and see kindness and gratitude in equal measure. Fall into those eyes, and know what it means to trust.

Got it? Great. And now I've got you.

I'm about as deep as a puddle, but if you can convince a man with a wet foot that he's drowning, you're halfway there. Throw him a rope and charge him for it, and that's the other half.

Mine is the only truly noble trade. The farmer grows fat by letting nature do what it does naturally, and selling the result. The vintner does the same, and gets to drink in the bargain. The blacksmith passes time by hitting heavy things with heavier things. All center around one premise, to wit: preying upon the inability of the rest of mankind to do the same damn thing for themselves.

I, on the other hand, offer an Education. I do not cultivate the naivete of my clients; I seek to exploit it, and in so doing, shatter it forever. I provide a service, and if I set my own price, what does that matter? And if I choose those in greatest need of that service, who can fault me?

And if I line my pockets with gold, why should I worry? It will go back to the farmer and the blacksmith eventually, and the vintner right away. I am the lynchpin that holds together the great circle of commerce.

Convinced? Yes? Then perhaps you'd like to see my line of equine curatives....

Location, Location, Location

Confession: It's been a while since I was in a relationship. Even the group of women knitting in the corner of the restaurant look hot. To my credit, they are all about my age.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

I wrote almost all of "Illuminated" in the Barnes and Noble in Smithtown, NY. "Cora and the Sea" was conceived on the walk between my house and the local Borders books, and written there in an afternoon. Each story in Floorcraft has a different origin: Lauinger Library, the Leavey Lounge, the Davenport Coffee Lounge at American University, Uncommon Grounds at Georgetown, and others. I can remember each one distinctly.

Dairhenien's Library has ranged wildly. Lately it has been written at the back table of the Panera Bread in Bohemia, but in the past, it's been at the Borders in Friendship Heights, the Barnes and Noble in Georgetown, La Madeleine in Chevy Chase, and others. It started at my dad's work computer at Cargill Steel and Wire, where I typed up some notes while waiting for him to finish up for the day.

Location is pretty important for me and my writing. It's not that these places set the tone for the story--I mean, they're pretty much all coffee shops, bookstores with coffee shops, or college coffee shops. But each is distinct, and just thinking about those places puts me in the same mental place I was when the stories were written.

With "Ferian Fetlock," I have no such place. Each part has been written in a different location. I think I need to find a place, a new place, and write there until it's done. That's my project for this weekend... to finally put that story to bed and move on to something new.

A Choice, Briefly

Confession: I'm a slave to my own impatience.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Cora and the Sea"

As you can see, I've finally finished my revisions on "Dolly" and submitted her for publication. I have high hopes, especially since I'm supposed to hear back from the magazine within two weeks. We'll see.

In the mean time, I find my thoughts turning back to Dairhenien's Library more and more. Should I work on the novels while the mood has me, or should I finish "Ferian Fetlock"? Which would do me more good?

I Have Found My Motivation

Confession: I'm afraid of epiphanies. It's not that I fear they're not genuine, per se, but rather because I'm afraid I'll lose that feeling, and with it the motivation will be gone. Then due to my own negligence, I'll lose out on the great thing I could have had.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

I had an epiphany today. I was in the town of Greenport, New York, and I decided that was where I wanted to live my life.

That's a big declaration, and it's not directly associated with writing, so let me give some background. I've been kind of tossed around on the seas of moving over the last ten years. After finishing up at Mississippi State in Starkville, Mississippi, I moved to Washington, DC for nearly seven years. I moved back to Memphis after that, but for a while I thought that DC was where I wanted to live. But at some point, I realized that was because of the people I had left there, and who were no longer there. But Memphis held no attraction for me either, so when I was offered a transfer with my job, I took it, and wound up on Long Island. And here I am.

I like Long Island, but again, I feel no particular connection to it. But somehow, Greenport was different. It felt right, but there was more than that. I can see myself living there. I can imagine a sense of satisfaction from being there. In essence, I can see myself being happy living there.

But of course, I would need a job. And that's where writing comes in. Greenport would be perfect for me if I were a full time writer. And therein lies the further development of my Plan.

I'll work backwards. To live in Greenport as a writer, I need to be a full time writer. To do that, I'll have to quit my current job, and to do that, I'll have to have a sufficient source of income both to make the move and live when I get there.

To do that, I'll probably need to sell one novel and have some good contracts for others. And to do that, I need to establish myself as a writer... oh, and actually finish the novel(s).

For that, I need more practice at my writing and some publications. So that means I need to write stories and submit them. Which brings me to where I am write now.

I wrote a few days ago that I was in a period of the doldrums... well, I think the last few days have brought fresh wind to my sails. I have a reason to write now that goes beyond just liking it. Each finished story, each submission, each is a step on my road to achieving that dream. And that's a major thing. I'm working towards a lifestyle that I want very much to have. And I can achieve it.

Idea with reservations

Confession: The last few days, I've been phoning in these blog entries. Tonight, too.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

One idea I had for a blog was to go in-depth on a single book. Each entry would be the analysis of one chapter of a long, long text.

But that takes some serious dedication and time commitment. If I did it once a week, it would take several years to get through. I don't know if I have that kind of dedication.

Then again, if I can't do that with someone else's novel, could I do it with my own?

Artistic Inspiration

Confession: I had a long conversation with a stranger in a train on the way back from the city today. I think he was a stoned-out ex-hippie. It was fun.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

More ideas for DL today, or at least, an idea about how to get ideas. One weekend, I will take the train into the city, visit the Met, and wander through the various galleries looking at the portraits and landscapes. I will take a picture of each one that inspires me, and also sit down right in the gallery with a notebook and write up a little character sketch, or description of the setting.

They say a picture is worth 1000 words, but I'll probably keep these closer to 250.

The idea is to build a character library of descriptions and characterizations that I can turn to when I need someone to fill a role and I get stuck. This can work for other stories too, but DL is where I got particularly stalled with such things.

Immigrant Inspiration

Confession: I visited Ellis Island today, and it was all I could do not to cry.

Reading:

• Someplace to be Flying, by Charles de Lint

Writing:

• "Ferian Fetlock Cures a Horse"

Revising:

• "Dolly Hobbles"

I had an idea for Dairhenien's Library today. At one point the title character leaves his homeland on a journey with someone whom he regards as an enemy. He has to travel incognito, and do so without revealing his abilities to anyone.

The setting of the series is a fantasy one, but the cultures are on par with what you might find in the late Victorian, early Edwardian era. Social mores are paramount, and man has achieved so much in so little time that there is a feeling that nature can be utterly conquered.

So when Dairhenien is traveling, he would naturally have to pretend to be someone innocuous... why not an immigrant? He'll get a view of the culture he enters from the bottom up and no mistake!

I'll just have to see how that fits in.